Hey, when you book a cruise, you never really consider that something can get you kicked off the ship. Nope, we always just think of the endless supply of food, drinks, sun, water, and fun. Well, I’m here to tell you that people can, will, and have been kicked off ships. Fortunately, it’s usually for a pretty good reason, so let’s go through a few of those reasons below:
1. Getting Sick.
This one is kind of a no-brainer. If your ticker goes out, you have a stroke, or you fall prey to some other serious injury, I promise that you’re not going to want to stay on any type of boat. Shipboard medical facilities and staff just don’t have the tools necessary to treat major illnesses. Plus, it’s a liability issue for the cruise line, so your butt is headed to closest available hospital…regardless of quality or language.
2. Skipping the Muster/Safety Drill.
Just because you’re already 3 sheets deep, lying by the pool, and not feeling like getting dressed doesn’t excuse you from the safety drill. Regardless of how many cruises you’ve been on, it’s still required and the law. Plus, it could save your life.
3. Smuggling Drugs or Other Illegal Contraband on the Ship.
It’s the islands, man…so there may be a couple of shady dudes trying to give you a big ol’ doob to help enhance your vacation. Don’t do it. If you get caught attempting to smuggle drugs, weapons, or any other illegal items onto the ship, your next excursion will be hosted by the cops, and you’re going to need some cash to get back home.
4. Refusing Embarkation or Port Screenings.
No screening, no cruising…period. Trust us, they won’t let you on the ship should you refuse…no matter how cool you are.
5. Making a bomb or terroristic threat.
You can’t yell “fire” in a crowded theater, nor can you make bomb threats on a ship. They take it very very serious. Don’t joke about it, don’t say it, and as a matter of fact, don’t even say you’re going to “blow this bathroom up” after that tenth burrito. Not only will you get booted, but some federal agents will also be waiting for you on the gangplank.
6. Failing to produce the proper travel documentation.
Cruise lines have to follow the law when it comes to travel documents. It’s your responsibility to have the proper papers in hand when coming onto the ship. If it’s a closed loop cruise from a U.S. port, then a certified birth certificate will work, but a passport works better.
7. Buying a Youngster a Drink Onboard.
Regardless of how responsible your 20-year-old is, Cruise lines don’t tolerate contributing to the delinquency of a minor. If you get caught buying a few beers for your underage kid or someone else’s underage kid, you and the kid are gone from the cruise.
8. Getting Unruly, Abusive, or Rude with the Fixtures, other passengers, or the Ship Staff.
Throwing hands, actin a fool, tossing a bar stool, or any other unruly behavior could get you dropped off at the next port of call. This applies to you, the kids, grandma, and your wife. Every cruise line has a Code of Conduct, and you agree to abide by them when they sign the cruise contract. So, act as if you’ve been somewhere before. We know it’s your vacation, but don’t take it out on the staff, other passengers, or the furniture.
9. Stealing Stuff.
We know that velvet print of Elvis playing poker with the pups is pretty cool, but if you try to slide it in your pocket, you’re going to the brig and then home. Worse, this one would probably prevent you from ever cruising on that particular cruise line ever again…so, don’t let some drunken coveting make you pay the price.